Sunday, September 16, 2012

I am the Alpha!

Dear beloved PuppyWumpykins and KittersMcKitterKat,

I would adore it if you could please refrain from being the "leader" of our household treks if you do not actually know where we are going.  (I mean, realistically speaking, we can only go to the kitchen or upstairs from the couch.  It is not like you actually *need* to stop over and over again in front of my ankles...  It is not like there is any *guesswork* in realizing we are either going forward to the kitchen or up to the bedroom. but I am getting off topic.  You are like a wild cougar and a wild, majestic wolf, and I cannot presume to know the purpose behind your untamed, beastly ways..)

For you see, if I die, you will only have enough food from my body to sustain you for a week or two until I am far too rotten to eat.  In the end, my death would benefit none of us.

Also, winter is coming and I would be unable to turn on the heat.  You like heat. 

Yours Truly,
Your Food and Potty Servant

The End.

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