Taken from my first blog, originally posted 6/11/2010
Yesterday I was trying to see how searchable my new webpages were, so I typed MsBrant into the search engine. The first page I saw was a "We Hate Ms. Brant" page on Facebook.
Especially with my kids, you prepare yourself and prepare yourself to take anything they throw at you... you constantly reinforce to yourself to not take things personally. I have had many wonderful moments in teaching, and yet, I have also been called names, been told I look fat, had a desk thrown at me, and been told by students that I am a terrible teacher. Still, at that moment,
my heart sank.
I was able to muster my courage and click on the link. I mean, why should I take a Facebook club seriously? Like ripping off a Band-aid, I entered the page and I studied the small, blurry, phone picture of... another Ms. Brant. I felt relieved, but not happy.
I wondered about this woman's story, how hard she tried, whether she loved her class as much as I grew to love mine, or if she drove to work each day, apathetic and counting the days to retirement. I wondered if she knew, if she saw the same ominous link I saw, and if she clicked on it.
I have to believe that no one gets in this career planning on being a bad teacher or a hated teacher (and yes, I am very aware that the level of one category is not necessarily proportional to the level of the other category). Of course, I also believe that about the human condition; no one starts out planning on being bad or hated.
I am also known to be very naive, which I am ok with that because I would rather think the best of others and be proven wrong than to live my life thinking the worst of others.
Somewhere, written on notebooks long since thrown in the garbage, is a scribbled "I hate Ms. Brant" that is written about me... some long past Facebook statuses, I am sure, say the same, and the memories exist of the first half of my first year when my students would say all these things to my face. Luckily, we were strong and we worked past all the arguing and formed bonds. So, this website, today, was not for me.
I hope the other Ms. Brants out there are keeping their heads up, working through the bad days, seeing their students for all they can be, and working every day to be the teacher they started out hoping to be when teaching was just a dream.